Join us every Sunday and celebrate the return of Fantasy Football with Tailgate Sunday!
Now, if you’ve never played fantasy football, let me tell you, it’s stressful and oh so much fun!
Everybody loves fall. The crisp cool air and leaves turn bright shades of yellow and red, pumpkin spice, and spooky season. My favorite thing about fall, Fantasy football! Now, if you’ve never played fantasy football, let me tell you, it’s stressful and oh so much fun! The joy of beating your ex-football player’s father-in-law because his expert picks turned from boom to bust? An unmatched joy. Now let me tell you. Never, ever in your life should you play fantasy football without having the right cannabis to keep you calm and in the game. Here’s what happened to me:
The draft was last Sunday, and I ended up with all the players I wanted. Tom Brady? I’ll take the old man! Russel Wilson, sign me up because go Hawks. Butker as my kicker?? Who wouldn’t pick a guy with that name? Sunday rolls around, and I’m ready. My fantasy team is loaded, but most importantly, the cannabis is ready. This game is far too stressful not to have that sticky icky herb to keep you calm yet also heighten your senses, not to mention when those munchies hit, that queso is going to be the best thing you’ve ever tasted.
I also chose some Doozie edible gummies with a fantastic amount of CBD and CBN to keep you nice and calm. Marionberry was my flavor of choice, so very delicious!
Here’s my lineup: First, edibles are the way to go. My family does not get down, so I was in it to win it alone; me, myself, and I. I carefully picked out some Swell edible chews, mystery flavor, of course, to match the complete mystery that is fantasy football. I also chose some Doozie edible gummies with a fantastic amount of CBD and CBN to keep you nice and calm. Marionberry was my flavor of choice, so very delicious! And finally, while the rest of my family downs some shitty beer, I’d like to have a drink myself, so I chose a Happy Apple, an excellent infused apple cider drink that is perfect for any fall activity.
Now that I’ve completed my lineup, both for football and edibles, I’m ready to go. I get up early that Sunday, like Christmas morning in September. I carefully pick out my most grubby sweatpants and my vintage John Elway jersey. Then, I start in with the cannabis as soon as the NFL pregame show starts.
I quickly eat four Swell chews, which gives me a solid dose of 40mg of full-spectrum THC oil. Man, these babies are good. They made my mouth water, and I chose to suck on them for a while to get that good sublingual effect. As they talk about the days’ games and who will win, I start to see my vision change a little bit, but nothing crazy. About 40 minutes later, the games were about to start, and I was BLITZED! I felt sunk into my 1980’s lazy-boy recliner, confident about my fantasy picks and how well they would do.
The first game starts, and I’m feeling great. Cool, calm, collected, and very high.
The first game starts, and I’m feeling great. Cool, calm, collected, and very high. I think it’s time for round 2. I chose the Happy Apple because I’m not ready to feel too relaxed with the Doozies. I meant to share the drink with my poor stressed-out husband, but as soon as I took a sip, I couldn’t stop. I highly recommend using the dosing cap if you are a lightweight because the taste is fantastic. It’s like fall in a cup. That sweet, real tart, apple taste hits your mouth like a Halloween party. The taste was so good I could almost close my eyes and find myself in the middle of an apple orchard. Whoa. Before I knew it, all 100 mg went down the hatch. I may have overdone it!
About halfway through the 2nd quarter, I realized I was so high I forgot which teams were playing. Luckily, fantasy football doesn’t matter so much because you have players all over the league getting you points, or not getting you points, throughout all the different games. I regain focus, and it takes all my might to pay attention. It appears the game is tied.
I hammer down some Chips and queso, seven-layer dip, and… was that ambrosia salad?
It’s time for snacks, and oh, am I ready. Those Swell chews and the Happy Apple drink have been doing their thing now for a solid 1-2 hours, and I’m hungry! I hammer down some Chips and queso, seven-layer dip, and… was that ambrosia salad? I’m also pounding the water by this time because, yes, edibles will dehydrate you, just like smoking will. This, of course, puts me on my high horse, and the rest of the family drinks can after can of some cheap beer, getting louder and louder, and words are hard to understand. Dang, I’m doing good in this recliner, high out of my mind. Now I highly don’t recommend being judgmental, but hey, that’s the headspace I was in.
The 3rd quarter is about to start, and I’m a happy lady. I haven’t even checked my fantasy team yet because I’m just that confident. Tom Brady’s got my back! I feel my heavy head high start to subside as the edibles are slightly starting to wear off. Perfect, time to check my team out and see how I’m doing. Maybe this will finally be the week I beat my father-in-law. I’m pumped. I’m happy.
Then it happens. I open up my fantasy football app… And I realize that I forgot to make sure I had all the right players in! One of my players got hurt, one was benched before the game started, and another had a bye week! So basically, I’m screwed. My father-in-law is going to beat me. My heart starts beating fast, and my palms get sweaty. This can’t be real! How did this happen??? And then I remember the edibles.
Just the taste of these babies made me start to feel better. They were sweet and slightly tart with some yummy sugar on the outside.
I had gotten so high before the game I forgot. As I step down off my high horse and accept my fate, I know this is the perfect time for a Doozy gummy. I decided to take two because my stress level is through the roof. Just the taste of these babies made me start to feel better. They were sweet and slightly tart with some yummy sugar on the outside.
I sit back in my recliner and take some deep breaths and eat some more queso, and I wait. Finally, about 45 minutes later, I feel the warm blanket of the CBD and CBN start to take effect. Soon, I have once again forgotten about football and my embarrassing loss. I am happy, I am full, and I am in my recliner. Soon the sounds of the TV fade, and I’m fast asleep. I missed the next two football games. My nap was so long. And then a miracle happened, I woke up, checked my app, and discovered the players I did have made a miraculous comeback, and I beat my father-in-law after all!!
I am happy, I am full, and I am in my recliner.
The moral of the story is don’t play fantasy football, but if you do, be prepared with some fun edibles and some very relaxing drinkables to calm your nerves because you’ll need them! Be sure to check Cinder out before kickoff for Tailgate Sunday to save 15% on your favorite edibles, drinks, and cartridges. Order online and skip the line or give us a call and pick up curbside 8 am – 7 pm.